Facing the Elements
by crimson gates of paradise
Summary: A typical example of how Earth, Fire, Water and Wind combine with Yami and Hikari... Prepare for a very random ride into the world of crazy characters. Or with other words: not meant for people who want to keep at least some of their sanity! XP
1. Earth episode 1

Yay another result of a nighttime inspiration burst! Please enjoy people!

Oh, and for those who think I have a secret bank account in Sweden… It's not worth it to sue me… Even if I did claim to own yugioh. (who would ever think I own it anyway? Like I would write crappy fics if I did! V.V")

Grr, they removed this… But I changed it… and yes! ALL CHEER for: The new, improved and fanfictionrulefriendly version of facing the elements! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

Earth 1

It was a nice day, probably somewhere in May.  
The sun was shining, the birdies were chirping and our dear Bakura lay on the couch, snoring and drooling. He looked really psychotic and peaceful. As psychotic and peaceful as a sleeping psychopath.

Actually…

that was a dumb thing to say and about as logical as a flying fish…

Our dear Bakura _is _a psychopath… And at that time… he _was_ sleeping.

Why I used was instead of is?

Because there was a but in the room.

No, not a butt, but a but.

Yes, dear people… There always seems to be a big but. This but was about good things. Because… as it is with all good things, they never seem to last longer than three seconds..

This day with Bakura being a sweet, sleeping psycho was no exception.

Ryou came walking into the room and saw his yami drooling and snoring in all his peacefulness. He sighed. He really, really didn't want to do this. If it wouldn't get him killed, it would leave him with a really, really awake, less peaceful and bad tempered psychopath. Besides… He had gotten pretty used to the peace and quietness of his yami laying on the couch, drooling and snoring. No more deranged take-over-the-world-plans, no more shadowrealms popping up in the middle of the city, no more FBI agents coming to question him about some suspicious, lifeless, but living bodies. The last weeks had been more than relaxing.

And even here was a but to be found.

Malik had called him this morning. They had talked for a while and both came to the conclusion that this peace would eventually leave them with plants instead of yamis. After this, they had informed Yugi, and he too was concerned. So they decided the hikaris had to come into action.

Ryou sighed again. He didn't like the idea of a rampaging psycho in his house, but the idea of a Bakura growing roots into the couch and needing to be watered every day was even less appealing.

"Bakura?"

No response.

"BAKURA!"

Bakura jumped up. "WASN'T ME!" O.O

Ryou sweat dropped. "Yeah right… What I wanted to tell you… I'm going to Yugi this afternoon."

Bakura lay down again and yawned, obviously still half asleep. "You're going to Yugi… Allright… have fun with…"

Suddenly it struck.

/STRUCK/

"WHAT?"

"What's wrong, yami?" Ryou asked, knowing damn well what was wrong. He somehow managed to give away his most innocent of innocent looks.

Bakura, on his turn, did what he always does. He ignored his hikari's most innocent of innocent looks and started an impressive rant.

"Didn't I forbid you to ever, EVER have human contact with that sacred garden gnome?" he ranted.

"No…" Ryou said, innocent as ever.

Bakura did a spectacular, worldrecord-breaking backflip off the couch and disappeared out of sight. Some seconds later his head popped up from behind the table, showing a two feet bump.

"Well," he said, his bump dangerously wobbling up and down when he spoke, "then I forbid you now!"

Ryou sighed and started to pull on his jacket. "Whatever suits you…"

Bakura got himself on the couch (again) and looked at his hikari to see what he was doing. Bakura was, to keep this an understatement, very unpleased with Ryou's new discovered ability of disobeying.

"Hey, I just said that…"

Ryou gave him his most angelic, kawaii, sweet, nice and innocent look of innocence. "Ow, don't worry, Bakura, I'll avoid all contact with the sacred garden gnomes. Now if you don't mind… Yugi is standing in the cold."

Bakura wasn't impressed by Ryou's kawaiiness and gave him the glare of ultimate death and destruction. "Ryou, you freaking _/beep/_, don't anger me!"

Too bad, Ryou already turned around and the look missed its target. If it hadn't done that, Ryou would probably be reduced to a little pool of hikari soup. Anyways, our brave, innocent and angelic hero was still standing on this planet in one piece to see another dawn, go to Yugi, hear the little birdies chirp and save his yami from the vegetablerealm.

So, Ryou, after miraculously being saved turned back. "Are you coming?" he asked, innocently as always.

Bakura was too startled by his hikari's survival to hide his expression of astonishment, which looked something like this: O.O

"What?" did he ask with his voice matching his eyes.

Ryou threw Bakura his coat. "You're expecting me to leave you here all alone to, accidentally or not, blow up the whole house?"

Bakura found his regular smirk back. "And you expect me to believe that's the reason when your face looks like a white haired tomato? What are we going to do?"

Ryou sighed in relief and instantly jumped out of tomato mode. "So you're coming?"

Now, dear readers, would be the best time to add a really, really,_ really_ angry expression from Bakura's side. Just the kind of look that says:

"Now you tell me what I want to know or I'll shove the toaster down your throat."

Ryou was innocent, indeed, but certainly not stupid, and _certainly_ not inexperienced when it came down to angry, threatening yamis. There were three notes he made long ago, considering the handling of those creatures.

They always do as they promise.  
Those promises will only seldom be made verbally.  
Some may say different, but looks are never deceiving.

He found out that as long as you kept those notes safely in your mind, life with a psycho yami could be at least livable.

So Ryou, with all his experience, immediately saw Bakura's promise and his internal note alert started ringing.

"Right," he muttered. "Well, we decided that you yamis are in desperate need of some fresh air. You've almost grown literally attached to that couch for crying out loud! So Yugi, Malik and I are taking you all on a trip to the mall."

Bakura looked at Ryou as if he just said something really insulting.

"WHAT? I'm not planning to go buy stuff!

A) I can steal it for way less money and effort

B) That's a girls thing, and I'm not and I repeat NOT a girl or anything in that direction!

C) and besides, it is… WAIT! Malik came up with this, right?"

He gave his hikari the most suspicious look he could come up with.

Ryou made quite an impressive sweatdrop sticking to the side of his head. "Well… actually… Yes…" he muttered.

He then started to tell whole stories about their plan, but, unfortunately, the words didn't dig into Bakura's mind. He was to busy thinking, because he felt like he missed point D).

"…Bakura, do you hear me?"

Bakura looked up. "Yeah, I heard your annoying, buzzing voice… Just didn't feel like listening to it…"

Ryou sweat dropped again. "You're hopeless,"

Bakura's look was set to off planet and staring into abyss. "what was point D)…" he muttered, thinking out loud.

Finally, all of a freaky sudden, it reached him.

_**Start of Flashback**_

…_So Yugi, Malik and I are taking you all on a trip to the mall…_

_**End of flashback**_

Yugi would be there and where Yugi was…

"I got it!" Bakura's eyes started to shine with happiness and joy, which made him look even more psycho and deranged.

Ryou jumped back, bracing for the definitely incoming impact.

"Point D!" Bakura shouted, inserting a tactical, loaded silence of suspense.

"I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE THAT STUFFED UP, FROM MEMORY LOSS SUFFERING PHARAO IS GOING TOO!"

Ryou sweat dropped and wanted to say something, but got interrupted by Yugi walking in the room. He was as always followed by his aura of cheerfulness and by Yami (who looked a bit less cheerful).

Bakura instantly detached himself from the couch, jumped up and pointed a furious index finger at his old enemy.

"OUT!"

Yugi smiled, like he was happiness itself. "Hi, Bakura and Yami Bakura! I thought it was getting a bit chilly outside so I decided to look what keeps you."

Ryou sweat dropped again, risking dehydration. "What keeps us, Yugi, is Bakura's plant like behavior."

Yami smirked. "Ah, so the great "Thief King" Bakura is afraid of the big, bad outside world?" His noble, action figure/Schwarzenegger voice dripped with pure sarcasm.

Ryou wanted to say something but got interrupted by a white/black blur passing in front of his eyes.

"What are you drooling at?" Bakura said with his hand on the doorknob. "I don't have all day…"

* * *

Yami Marik stood under a tree in the park and was, while we're still busy placing understatements, not too happy.

"And _why_, dear _friend_, are we freezing in here?"

Malik sighed. "Because we have to wait for the two Yugis and Bakurae…. And no… I don't have a clue what takes them so long."

"I'm bored…" Marik took out a lighter.

"OH NO!" Malik screamed. "It took me twenty minutes to explain why I couldn't explain where all those dead bodies suddenly came from and then another ten to explain where they suddenly disappeared to!"

His yami pouted. "But… They looked at me! It hurt… Why are they always looking at _me_?"

Malik took a critical look at his yami. "You're wearing some oversized, purple cloak and are asking me _that?"_

For several minutes, Yami Marik stared at Maliks pink tanktop.

"Look who's talking…" he finally stated.

Malik turned purple.

"HEY! I'm not the one with the warping face!"

"And I'm not the one wearing eyeliner!"

"NO?"

"N- never mind…" Yami Marik grumbled. "What I actually wanted to say… …Fuck, I forgot… What did I…"

Malik took a look at his heavily puzzled yami and sighed heavily.

"Why me?" he muttered.

"Oh I remember!" Marik's face beamed. Not warped, _beamed_, as in happiness.

"I wanted to say that I see no point in standing here any longer. Bye, sayonara, later and tschüs!" Yami Marik turned around with lots and lots of cloak-flapping and started to walk away.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Marik stopped walking. Not because he wanted to, but because _something _suddenly started to cry like some freaked out moron. But then again… it actually was a freaked out moron. This sucked. If he couldn't stand something, it was the world and everything in it. If he could stand something even less than that, it was his hikari. Even worse, was when his hikari was acting like a freaked moron, because that would be crap to his reputation.

And yes, now he was the lucky person, chosen by destiny and this writer, to be confronted by a freaked out moron, which, accidentally, happened to also be his hikari.

"You can't do this to me!" the freaked out moron sobbed. "It cost me two stoves and a knife to get you here! You can't just leave!"

"Wanna bet?" Yami Marik smirked evilly.

Malik fell down and attached himself to his yami's knees.

"Please!" he begged. "Don't leave!"

Yami Marik almost fell down. "Hey! Let me go!" He shouted, eyes big out of frustration.

Malik only clutched even tighter to his knees. "I'm begging you! Please wait a little while longer! Only one minute!" The sobbing just wouldn't stop.

"No!" Marik said. "There's no way in which you can force me to…"

Malik did the chibi eyes.

"NOOOO! NOT THE CHIBI EYES! Must… resist… the… chi…bi… _alright_!"

Malik huggled his yami's knees. "Yay! You're the best!"

"Stupid hikaris with their stupid cuteness… /insert lots of unintelligible insults here/ …LET ME GO!" He tried to break free from his hikari's iron grip before anyone would see him like this.

"Hello guys! Here we are!"

_Damn, its Yugi! Got… to… break… free…before…_

He saw Yami, Ryou and Bakura _looking_ at him.

_Fuck_

Suddenly, Malik seemed to notice the arrival of his friends and finally let go of his yami's knees, making him fall flat on his ass in the mud.

"Hi to you to!" Malik said.

Yami Marik twitched. "MALIK YOU STUPID MORON!"

"Yeah?" Malik showed his most innocent look.

Marik did a failed attempt to get up. "HELP ME!" He twitched again.

"But…" his hikari pouted. "I first have to tell my friends…"

"NOW!"

* * *

So that was it for this chapter. Should I go on? Should I give myself in by the asylum? Should I dance the tango? Please review and tell me so/bows/

For all those people who wondered, here's a little note:

The grabbing the knee thing is actually something ancient Greek (no not Egyptian (for as far as I know)) Always when those people started begging, they grabbed each others knees… (at lest in the stories they do)

I actually don't get why, because someone hanging onto your legs is the most inconvenient thing that can ever happen. Maybe because the other one had no choice but to give in before he/she could walk away… /talks from experience/

I once had two friends hanging onto my knees, begging me for wine balls. Damn, just try to walk then! I almost fell flat on my ass too. /sweat drops/

Our teacher was in the same room as we then and she cast us THE look… My friends are so inspiring… BUT IF THEY EVER GO HANGING ONTO MY KNEES AGAIN!

Hmm… This turned out to be quite a deranged new, improved, fanfictionrulefriendly version… Must have been the lambrusco… v.v;


	2. Earth episode 2

Mwahahah! Part two of Facing the Elements is here! Please enjoy! Not much more to say. This site's named fanfiction… Fanfiction is something you write when you _don't _own something. Go figure… I'm not going to keep on saying I don't own yugioh… That's pure sadism, invented by people who like to torture us by letting us say this over and over! I don't own and won't say that again!

* * *

Earth 2

Marik still sat where Malik had dropped him, with his butt in the mud, and was getting a little grumpy. That basically meant: more grumpy than usual, since we're talking about **_Marik_** here. Grumpy would be just too much of an understatement.

"You _stupid_ idiot!" he shouted. "Drag me out of this fucking junk before it completely sucks me in!"

Yami pulled up an eyebrow. "You know? Why won't we just leave the guy there. That would certainly be healthier for more than one future victim." He threw Marik a frigid look.

"Yeah, and then build a tent around me and sell tickets. Great idea!" the yami's annoyed, sarcastic voice shouted. "GET ME OUT OF THIS!"

"You really can't get up?" Ryou asked, concerned as always.

"Of course I can! It's just that I like to sit in the park on the ice cold ground with this slimy mud flopping through my pants! IT'S SO GREAT!" Several veins began popping up and Marik's face slowly started to teleport itself again.

"In that case, it's best to leave." Yami turned around and started to walk away.

He was stopped by today's second outburst of hikari-power. Namely a little, multicolored garden gnome hanging from his arm.

"No! Wait!" The garden gnome screeched. "You have to help all humans in need! Even if they aren't actually humans, but the psychopathic second personalities of from schizophrenia suffering former wannabe worldovertakers with a bad, I mean unique stile of clothing that are glued stuck in some gross pool of polluted mud, which the authoress has written down there for that one and only purpose."

Yami tried to shake the tiny being named Yugi off his arm, without much success.

"But I'm doing this for the sake of all humans, spirits, animals, mudpools _and_ the world!" he sighed.

Yugi finally let go and suddenly dropped another two feet in height when he landed back on the ground.

"Yami! The fact that you have to miss your poker evening with the Anonymous Elderly Widows is _no_ reason to torture Marik!"

Malik, Marik, Bakura and Ryou jumped up. Well, except for Marik, but if he wasn't stuck he would probably take a trip to stratosphere.

"WHAT?"

Malik rewinded his tape recorder.

"Kgg… poker evening… kggg with kgg thee Anonymous kggg Elderly kggg …Widows" it said.

"I _knew_ it!" Bakura shouted with sparkling eyes.

"…knew what?" Yami asked, flipping himself to tomato mode.

Bakura showed him his most devilish smirk. "That those pink, flowery dresses in your wardrobe lay there for a reason."

"What? How do _you_ know what's in my…"

"HEY!" Marik shouted, "Isn't it about time we return to the actual problem, for example… my situation here?"

He folded his arms in front of his chest. "It's getting damn cold down here."

Malik looked up in concern. "Ow yeah! O.O Don't worry, Marik! We'll come to the rescue!"

He turned to his friends.

"Good! Who's going to volunteer to hike his way through that muck over there to drag Marik from the mudpool, facing all opposing forces in the process, like his soaked cloak, the sucking powers of this mysterious mud and, how can we forget, my dear yami's bodyweight?"

A flock of hay hovers through the landscape, accompanied by the sweet tones of a crickets choir and a gust of wind.

"Nice that you're all so worried about me…" Marik said, sweat dropping.

"You're welcome," Bakura said, smirking as always. "The remark about your bodyweight made that decision very easy."

"I'm not fat!" Marik growled. "Just well built!"

Yugi threw a serious look at Marik. "I don't know what you think, guys… But If I look at all those opposing forces and compare them to my own bodyweight, length and strength…"

All looks moved to Bakura.

"OH NO!" he yelped. "I can already see myself sinking in up to my neck."

"Don't worry, just one more psycho less," Yami smirked.

Bakura gave him that look of ultimate death and destruction. "Why don't you and your little gnome friend go together? With the combined powers of your friendship and your almost non existent weight with which you can't impossible sink down… not mentioned that if you do get sucked in, your immense length can't save you from drowning in that five inches of mud…"

Ryou twitched.

"YAMI!"

"Icky, stupid, Radamned shit!" Bakura pulled his foot out of the mud, producing a very suspicious sound. "Stupid, blackmailing, baka!" He put his foot down again and immediately sunk in down to his ankle. "AARG! Gross, rotting, fucking…"

"You're okay, Tombrobber?" Yami cast him an amused look from the stone he had positioned himself on.

"Aye, aye cap'n everything's fine!" Bakura shouted, boiling with rage. He wanted to say a lot more, but lost his balance and almost fell backwards.

Yugi looked worried, like all hikaris are supposed to do in cases like this. "Are you sure you're all right?"

Bakura wanted to jump at Yugi to choke him, but couldn't because the mud had sucked his shoes in. Desperate and furious as he was, he chose for a verbal attack instead.

"YES! You minisized midget! Now do the world a favor and go kill yourself!"

Yugi, unable to handle anything other than friendship rants, turned pale and shaky.

Yami saw it and turned red with anger.

"I'm WARNING you, Bakura!" Ryou said. "One more time and I'm really going to do this!"

He held Bakura's favorite dagger in his right hand and a can of permanent pink graffiti in the left.

"I'm going! I'M GOING!" Bakura used all his strength to pull his other foot free and take a step.

"And if you don't mind… WHILE IT'S STILL TODAY!" Marik shouted, on the last bit of his, already small, amount of patience.

Malik, in the meantime, was capturing everything with a digital camera.

Bakura saw it.

"Hey! Stop that!" he squeaked.

Marik heard the tone of voice and started to panic too. He did several failed attempts to look back and see what was going on.

"Stop? You want me to stop?" Malik chuckled. "NEVER! This is going straight to the BBC! 'Deranged spirits stuck in the muck!'"

Bakura turned even paler, which was quite an impressive accomplishment. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Wanna bet?" Malik smirked evilly.

"NOOOOO!"

At the end of his nerves, Bakura jumped at Malik, ready for the kill. Too bad he forgot about the mud's magical sticky powers.

/SPLASH/

He landed head first in the pool, lying half over Marik, who, on his turn, had been thrown back and now was parked there on his back.

"I asked you to help me! Not the get me even deeper in this crap." Marik spluttered.

Bakura could only cough up a gulp of mud.

Malik kept on zooming in and out and jumping up and down. "WOW! What a shots! This is heaven! WOOT! I'm going to be rich! FILTHY RICH!"

Ryou grinned and pulled a photo camera from his pocket.

Bakura's almighty eyesight saw it..

"Hey, you're the hikari!" he screamed in a scary, high pitched way. "You're supposed to pity me and come to the rescue… put the… PUT THE CAMERA DOWN!"

/flash/

"shit"

Yami had fallen off the stone and was now rolling on the floor, laughing his ass of.

Yugi looked half worried/half concerned.

Marik slowly started to sink in even further and was getting quite claustrophobic.

"Help! Help, Malik! I'm drowning!"

Malik still jumped up and down like a skippy on speed. "Rich, rich, rich! I'm going to beeee…. RICH!"

* * *

Hehe… That's the end of part 2. (dah) 

Well, please review… I need opinions… Or more like… I want opinions! I like to know what you people think.

How can I improve the writing?

What do you think is going to happen next? (hehe, I already know /evil look/)

What did you have for dinner? (/sweat drops/ sorry, needed a question and my inspi has run quite dry after this episode)

Come on, people! All review! ;)

* * *

AND ALL CHEER FOR:

**Yugiohfreak**! - Thanks for reviewing!


	3. Earth episode 3

So time to go on where we left off about a week ago. :)

Marik (from his place in the puddle): Yeah, people she just left us here for a WEEK!

Bakura: /splutter/

Esther: Yep! So let's take off! (and for those people who want disclaimers… check last chapter)

Marik: Ah finally, I'll be free!

Esther: /innocent look/

Bakura: What's with that look! o.O

Marik: Oh NO! O.o

Esther: /evil grin/

Marik + Bakura: O.O

* * *

Earth 3 

_Malik still jumped up and down like a skippy on speed. "Rich, rich, rich! I'm going to beeee… RICH!"

* * *

_

Bakura was desperately trying to keep his head above the mud, looking everything but cool, psycho and tombrobber-like.

"Help! -Cough gulp- HELP! O.O"

Marik got sucked in completely except for his face and tried to sit up. Sadly that didn't work. His Goku-haircut got him anchored stuck in the mini-swamp and the only thing he did manage to do was putting his hand above the surface, leaving an even less threatening impression than his "friend".

Of course the hikaris couldn't watch all this misery and suffering, so they soon decided to kick in and help.

"We'll go fetch a rope! Please keep them from drowning while we're gone!" Ryou shouted while taking off.

"But…" Yami wanted to start a three-hour protest on the dangers of Yugi getting a rope on his 'own', but the hikariclub already left and was backstage, drinking a cappuccino.

Sighing and muttering about his unfortunate fate, Yami plumped down on his rock again, watching Marik and Bakura taking their mud bath.

"Bet you like it, pharaoh –gulp- we, as always getting hurt –cough- and you just sitting there to –blub- watch…" Bakura spluttered. He took his time to cough up a waterfall of mud, swallowed while talking. "Sadist!" he then added while seeing Yami's amused look.

"Oh, I must admit that this is quite the entertainment… But heads up high, guys… It can't possibly get any worse!" Yami said, smirking like an idiot.

"Oh that's what you think –cough-" Marik said. "But you've never been in –blub- situations –cough- like this. My experience tells me that –gulp- It probably won't take long, especially since –coughblubblub- your no-problem remark –cough- 'till it starts –blub- to…"

Dark clouds gathered over the park.

Yami quirked an eyebrow and looked up, holding out his hand. "Hey… rain… How unfortunate for you two!" He stood up and stationed himself under the famous, by fangirls adored tree where Marik stood at the beginning of this story.

He then threw another examining look ad the pool. "You know… It's about time to change my world-saving plans. The shadowrealm doesn't seem to restrain you that well, but this little splash of sticky mud…"

The two former psychos-on-the-loose unleashed a stereo –blub-.

"That's exactly what I was thinking," Yami sang happily.

Marik wanted to place a smart-ass comment on this, but at the last moment kept himself from that. It probably wouldn't do him any good in this situation, with all mud surrounding him. So instead of drowning himself, he used his free hand and gave Yami the finger.

Yami saw it and turned a dangerous shade of red. "How. Dare. You." He growled while clenching his fists and letting steam come from his ears.

Bakura had the greatest effort trying not to laugh and swallowing half the mudpool.

"How DARE you to insult me! IN ANY WAY!" Yami started to look explosive.

Bakura finally couldn't keep silent anymore. "BWAHAHAHHAHaha-ha-ha –a- coughcoughe-blub-cough-AHAHHAHAHHA-cough-YUGH-cough-blub-GROSS-blub-swallow- O.O AACK!"

"So you think it's funny he's making rude gestures to… to ME?"

Bakura was at last done coughing all mud from his systems.

"To be honest with you, _dear_ pharaoh –cough-, I'm wondering –gulp- if you actually –blub- know what it means, _he_'s making that –cough-dammit-cough- gesture to _you_!"

Yami started to glow in a dangerous, radioactive-like looking way. "I know very well what that means." He hissed between clenched teeth.

"Blub cough blub blub cough gulp blub." Marik spluttered.

"He says: Oh really? –cough- Show me!" Bakura translated with an evil, and I mean _very_ evil glint in his eyes.

On top of his explosiveness, steam and radioactive glow, Yami turned an impressive kind of purple.

"WHAT?" He shrieked on the top of his lungs.

"Cough gulp blub cough cough blub blub cough?" Marik asked.

Bakura, or what of his face was above the mud, grinned a if he was a sheep on dope. "He –chuckle- asked: Not only stupid, but also deaf?"

Yami looked as if he was about to explode into tiny bits and take half the world down with him. "I'VE HAD IT!"

He pointed a dramatic, fatal index finger at the two spirits in the muck. "One more insult, One more WORD, One more MOVEMENT of you two… AND I'LL MINDCRUSH YOU IMMEADIATELY!"

Marik looked at him dryly. "Cough gulp blub blub –swallow- cough cough cough cough blub cough blub blub cough."

Bakura cast the evil look again. "What he –blub- said, and I must say I totally agree on that one, was: "May we point out the fact that the almighty pharaoh, insert sarcastic coughing, is not the only one holding a sennen item?"

Yami put his hand down and at once looked as calm as ever. "Oh, maybe I'm not, but… I'm also not the one about to be swallowed by a possessed puddle of mud, having no opportunity of _reaching_ for that sennen item."

He struck a victory pose. "ADMIT!" he boomed with lots of echoes and special effects. "YOU'RE COMPLETELY HELPLESS THIS TIME!"

Marik and Bakura frowned at the word 'helpless', though it was almost impossible to see, due to all the mud and rain.

"You seem to like that, ne?" Bakura asked in a dangerous tone of voice.

Yami cast his evil I'm-about-to-win-this-game-look. "I don't like it, dear tombrobber… I love it! I'm always trying to convince people that two wild, murderous psychopaths on the run is the last thing this world needs! But who listens to me? Forgive and forget they say! And then they talk about how everything was an accident and then they just cover up all evidence and… Never! Never I have even one little piece of rest! –sob, sob- Because… I always have to look out that one of you doesn't "accidentally" hurt one of the hikaris and… You realize how –sob- stressful that is?  
And just when I've finally defeated you, when I finally think I'm free from all that responsibility… -sob sob- then… -sob- y-you two just … _stand_ there again, radammit!"

Yami stood there sobbing, sniffing and with two wide tracks of mascara and eyeliner streaming down his cheeks.

Marik looked at it, wide eyed, in more than one way unable to say anything. Bakura also wisely kept himself quiet. The fact of the surface of the mud rising with all added rainwater was one reason. The other reason was an interesting thought that just made his way into popping up in his head.

_Since when did I went from psycho to psychiatrist?_

Yami was still sobbing heavily and close to a total nerve breakdown.. "And now," he said, standing in a black pool of makeup mixed with tears, "I'm really done forgiving, forgetting and letting you ruin my and other people's lives!"

The sennen puzzle started glowing.

"I'm going to send you to the shadowrealm! TOGETHER WITH THAT DAMN MUDBATH!"

Marik and Bakura looked at him in the greatest horror possible, realizing way too late that he had really meant it. They then started, also way too late, with their fruitless attempts to break free.

Because… Let's be reasonable… The shadowrealm isn't the most cozy place to spend your Sunday afternoon. Maybe it once was for Marik and Bakura, but this time it was different. This time they were glued stuck in a puddle of mud, because of this had trouble breathing and… someone threatened to send the damned thing with them. Did we add that that pool also provided them with about zero percent chances on a successful escape?

Yami chuckled evilly, in a way only yamis can. "Now… say goodbye!" he whispered.

Marik and Bakura did a last desperate attempt on grabbing their sennen items, only noticing this mud had the same effect as a pool of concrete.

Giving up, they decided to have some interesting final thoughts.

Bakura rolled his eyes.

_Niiice… I'm going to spend the rest of eternity lying on top of an, in more ways very suspicious person… in a pool of concrete, in the shadowrealm._

Marik growled in a typical Marik way.

_Niiice… I'm going to spend the rest of eternity lying under a wannabe shemale… in a pool of concrete, in the shadowrealm._

They both sighed.

_Life sucks_

Dark shadows gathered over the park.

* * *

Esther: MWAHAHHAHAHAH! Evil! Evil! I'm sooo evil! Cliffhanger for you/evil look/ 

Marik & Bakura: /with virtually no enthusiasm/ Yay!

Esther: Oh, come on guys, what's with those faces:)

Marik: Oh you're about to send me to the shadowrealm with _him_ /points at Bakura/ and think I'm happy?

Bakura: Idem ditto here.

Esther: /confuzzled look/ Erm… so… you don't want to go to the shadowrealm with yourself? o.O

Bakura: O.O Oh RA! Save me from this fic! O.O

Ra: Shut up!

Esther: Please review! XD

* * *

_And All cheer for the reviewers! XP_

**AvengerRevengeVengeanceSisters:** Oh no! -gasp- No don't faint /waves fan/ I already updated!

**The Fall of the Spirited:** Don't worry, I've got my ideas ready for fire… /evil look/ In fact… It's going to be the next element to face -chuckle- And my parents are also always telling me I'm insane when laughing, lol! XD


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